8900 vs. 8520

aight, so i've been peeping the news on the Blackberry 8520 & certain things that it can & can't due so i decided to compare that joint to the 8900. both are candidates for purchase because i need a new damn phone & a Blackberry would be a better look for me in the long run.

so - the 8900 FIRST OFF, has a bigger screen. the resolution is 480x360 & its LCD, which pretty dope for a Blackberry. 3.2 megapixel camera on the joint, which is better than my Sidekick LX's joint. its got Wi-Fi support on the joint too, just as the 8520 does. what got me was that the 8900 supports 65,000 colors yo - that means i can email designs to clients or receive email packages from people that have pictures that they wanna incorporate in a design & not have to be fooled in coloring when i open it up on a computer -- which happens alot on this shitty ass Sidekick. yeah, the screen is LCD but the Sidekick LX doesn't support alotta colors.. i did my homework. then i found out the music/audio formatting & what the 8900 supports: 3gp, WAV, MIDI, AMR-NB, G711u/A, GSM610, PCM, MP3, AAC/AAC+/eAAC+, WMA9/10 Standard/Pro --- i can send & receive music from my phone from artists that i work with in ANY FORMAT & then bounce it to my computer unharmed.. i can't do that with the LX. xO!

the joint has GPS on it everything. the talk time is close to about 6 hrs but i don't stay on a phone call longer than an hour, unless its wifey, & even then we text alot, haha! =) the standby time is dope though - 15days.. so if i just let my phone sit, that btch won't fully die for 2 weeks.. fckin amazing.

now - the 8520 - the screen is SMALLER & the camera is the same quality as my Sidekick.. major deduction as Madea would say. the screen is 320x240, but its still LCD. with the screens being the sizes that they are, that means the phone is bigger too. the 8900 won that battle already. this joint only supports AAC-LC, AAC+, eAAC+, AMR-NB, MP3, WMA9 (.wma/.asf), WMA9 PRO/WMA 10, AAC-LC audio formats.. not the same as what the 8900 supports. another -- major deduction. i can still send designs on this joint with no problem with colors, as well as receiving pictures & being able to see everything full throttle - but i can't receieve a WAV file & be able to hook it up RIGHT AT A STUDIO & go right into recording. so i lose.

its got GPS & all that on it as well; the talk time is close to 5 hours but the standby time is a couple days more than the 8900 at 17days.

they BOTH hook up & can run off the same GPRS navigation network with T-Mobile so thats a plus. if they didn't support that network then it would be no reason to have either of these wons.

all in all, it looks like imma be coppin' me a Blackberry Curve 8900 soon. don't know when but i will. buhhhleeee dat!

BLACKBERRY CURVE 8900 WINS.

Say You Will.

when 808's & Heartbreaks came out, i really thought Kanye West had lost his damn mind. like, i couldn't wrap my head around what it was that he was shooting for with that album. like, how do you go from Graduation to that? lol -- but as time went on & reading more & more of his responses as to what 808's & Heartbreaks meant to him & what it took to create it, it was brilliant.

808's is one of those albums where its not just consistent in holding down that title's meaning but other meanings as well. 808's is for anyone with an addiction. 808's is for anyone who sees things before they happen. 808's is for those who can't fight confusion by themselves. 808's is an album that brings suffocation to those who don't believe that your words induce feelings & emotions.. to those who believe feelings & emotions are non-existent to many people.

808's teaches us that you can make a wrong turn with your heart, just as well as your mind. it teaches us sincerity & should enlighten us on the mind OF Kanye West. 808's has taught me that i'm not the only dude that has felt like sht will shatter at the slightest touch i may give. its taught me that transformation needs to happen before the transfer of information starts. 808's & Heartbreaks can take hold of you for the hour that it is declarated in time & for that hour, you're not here..

its going to take you & help you block out everything around you & show you formally what you're dealing with & how to extinguish whats being shown.

808's has shown me that MY heartbreaks weren't in vain & that they were to teach me lessons about my own heart & conscience. its amplified my ability to see/witness things before they actually happen & warn those who are seen to be mentally unprepared.. its taken me to a new plateau in understanding what it is i have to do to keep the warmth of my own heart/emotions before anyone ELSE can.. starting with what i see at night.

808's & Heartbreaks.

"..i've seen it before."

*Ace

Exclusive.

..lets just call it an early Christmas gift.

http://www.filefactory.com/file/a0708cf/n/Hotel_Room_Keys_The_Beat_Tape_Composed_amp_Arranged_by_Sinoptris_zip

*Ace

Realness.

i miss being up north around people that actually make sense & where everything is always different. being in VA right now, i feel like i'm about to fckin just lose my mind.. i miss my girl & BEEN missing her.. i need a change of scenery - i'm tired of the same thing.. i'm tired of being around the same tired people, looking at them do the same tired ass stuff. like, its 2009.. there shouldn't be ANY laziness.

i was doing alot of traveling when i first got outta high school & did so for the 1st two years being outta high school & it was the best time of my life.. i miss BALTIMORE. i miss alotta the hood food spots. like, its something about styrofoam dinners that will make me feel so at home. some of the spots in VA have been faithful to me & making me feel good after i eat them & then some just make me mad as all hell.

i'm thinking about going on that traveling spree again - if i can get these funds right. smh.. bills will kick ya ass, son.

*Ace

Ha-Ha-Haaa, Ha-Haaa.

well, he's finally back with a new album, ladies & gentlemen & personally, i'm happy because this trash that they are calling R&B, isnttttt R&B. Robin Thicke's new single makes me wanna do some thaaangs yo. its called "Sex Therapy" & thats the title of the new album as well.

"Something Else" was his last album, which came out last year & he got a LOT of spins off "Magic" & alotta good ratings from online magazines. I believe "Sex Therapy" is gonna top "Something Else". i think the single was written by The Dream, but ican't find that official info. listen for yourself though, but i think it was him. hahaha. the joint is produced by Polow Da Don & like always, he delivers with production. one of the best that are slept on out here in the game.

check out "Sex Therapy" by Robin Thicke:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbauX5wmga4

*Ace

U P T O W N.

..best believe, i understand - its okay.

Escape // Rope .

as always, a picture says a thousand words.

Angel Wings // I Love You; I Do..

when i first heard this song, i couldn't really think straight about what Diddy's direction was with it.. then i actually sat & listened to what he was saying in the song & its something real. like, the stuff he's talking about in this song, its stuff that we all think about when we're strapped down too tight with weights that we feel that we can't handle.. but God isn't gonna give us no more than what we can handle.

this song has been on repeat lately & its been some motivation, inspiration & confirmational in alot of things. like i said, i couldn't get down with Diddy SINGING at first, but then i actually got into it.

its funny how he speaks about "the angels flying too loud" -- sometimes i really believe that when we as people let the mind take over in the sense of overpowering our hearts & foresight, that you CAN hear someone getting closer to you - hence the term or phrase "..you're killing yourself."

i'm not gonna go into a big speech about my thoughts nor will i get too deep into things that have no answers.

check out Diddy/Dirty Money "Angels" /// Directed by Hype Williams; listen to the words:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flX509t4qHQ

*Ace

Threads.

PUBLIC SCHOOL.

one of the illest clothing lines out; found a jacket from them in H&M that i ordered 3 weeks ago -- & its in - & i WILL be going to get it this weekend, since its paid for, haha.

check out their collections:

http://www.publicschoolnyc.com/

Justin Blaze & The Blazettes.

i thought i'd never see the day.. Eminem (one of the greatest rappers of all time) is working on "Relapse 2" with Just Blaze, who's going to be producing majority of that joint. He's been going to & from Detroit for the last 2-3 months, working with Em & laying stuff down.

i personally think that the move to have Just Blaze produce for & with him was an excellent move. all Em knows is Dr. Dre & Dr. Dre is one of the greatest PRODUCERS of all time - don't get me wrong -- but Just Blaze is too, in my opinion.

Em is gonna have K'naan producing 2 tracks on the joint as well, along with Mr. Porter. i'm kinda hype about this because i wanna see what this is gonna sound like. Em says this joint is gonna be more emotionally driven than "Relapse" so we'll see.

*Ace

Mr. Carter.

..okay, so like everyone else, i gotta say something about the Lil Wayne thing. yes, dude is gonna be doing about 8-10 months in jail because he had a .40 cal on 'em. everybody is all over the internet talking about "Free Lil Wayne" -- ya'll don't know him!!

get that sht through your heads! you do NOT know Lil' Wayne. people act as if thats their son or big brother or something. he's become a "role model" for the kids nowadays. like, behind the scenes, yes, Dwayne Carter has a LOT of money tied into foundations for the less fortunate in Louisiana, the Katrina victims, schools, & other things that help & not hurt..

..but when the hell are you gonna show it forreal, Wayne?

"i don't say sht, cause the gun on my hip / & i don't say sht, i just put the gun on my hip!"

thats what got ya ass in trouble now! then Baby & his OLD ass talkin' about that Young Money/Cash Money & Jay-Z make the most noise & the most money.. that very well may be true but ummmm.. for all that dough yall have & the people that yall know, you mean to tell me you couldn't pay a judge to let you off?? lmao! i mean, bribery is against the law, but damn - this is the only dude i know that told a judge, "lemme finish this tour for my fans so i can make some more money for you & my lawyers." --- & the judge said okay.. WHAT!? lol

all in all, Wayne is going to jail & there's nothing you nut-swingers can do about it. i think when he gets out, he might go back to rappin' like he was on The Carter I & II. that WOULD be great, Wayne.

*Ace

The Art of Storytelling.

Andre 3000 has been working hard on his clothing line that he started last year & finally has his stuff in Barney's. Benjamin Bixby is the name of the line & i've been a fan. only thing i can't get down with are the horse riding shoes & suspenders. everyone put me against suspenders when Chris Brown started adding them to every outfit he had.

Benjamin Bixby is dope though. its Andre 3000 all day. he got some tips & ideas from Anna Wintour & then went & spent time in Italy, messing around in Italian factories, hence, giving him the authentic look that securely says "Andre 3 Stacks" when you put on his clothes.

"Benjamin Bixby is a character who’s kind of like your uncle, or your granddad, and he has a closet full of experiences and clothes, and he’s been around the world.” - Andre 3000

enough said.

*Ace

Its OHHHH Sooo BeautifuLLLL.

as usual, i'm always letting yall in on what i listen to & for the past few days i went back to listening to my man Mayer Hawthorne. dude is a white kat but his soul is black. its like my "feel good" music, hahaha. when i got word of who he was, i was shocked that he was a white kat but does it really matter?

..unless you're Taylor Swift on MTV winning awards for country music videos THENNNN i've got something to say. haha.

anyway, his real name "Andrew Mayer Cohen" from Michigan. dude is a producer, he can sing his ass off, songwriter, audio engineer, plays multiple instruments -- HE'S THE WHITE VERSION OF RYAN LESLIE! lmao - lemme put it that way, lol.

one of my favorite producer/DJ's PeanutButter Wolf, signed him to Stones Throw (best label around, don't you forget it) & its been a wrap ever since. i downloaded "A Strange Arrangement" a while back & its one of the best albums you can listen to.

check 'em out:

www.myspace.com/mayerhawthorne

*Ace

Zippers & Beat Tapes.

"the only backpacker with a chip like hackers.."

Bria's Interlude /// Drake

2 0 1 3.

Timepiece.

like i said, i don't care for watches too much, but Nixon does it again.

Nixon Newton Digital Remixes

*fck..me..sideways...twice*

*Ace

Loveless.

Mishka has some nice sht coming out for the '09 Fall/Winter season & one of the items that i have fell in love with is the Loveless M-65 jacket.. pure crack cocaine.

this joint is gonna released in exclusive colors in Japan & London though, so thats lame but nevertheless, i'm really feelin' this jacket.

*Ace

..& i got money toooo.

sooooo its been confirmed that Drake's first official single off his debut album, will be "Shut It Down". its gonna be him & The Dream on this joint & i'm thinking its gonna be something serious, because guess who's directing the video? --- none other than Hype Williams. 90% of Hype's videos are classic as hell - thats who does all of Kanye's videos so you know its going to be nothing less than perfection.

He's also gonna be the feature for Timbaland's first set of singles for "Shock Value 2". now, Timbo said it was gonna be Justin Timberlake & Gwen Stefani on the first official single so i dunno - he might be changing it to Drake having the first single. either way, its gonna be dope as hell.

Drake has new little mixtape out called "CONGRATULATIONS: THE PRELUDE TO THANK ME LATER".

its a collection of tracks that he's featured on that have been on the radio, unreleased tracks from miscellaneous mixtapes & of HIS previous mixtapes such as "Heartbreak Drake", "Room For Improvement" & my lyrical favorite of him, "Comeback Season".

http://www.zshare.net/download/6236196815c76c5c/


"THANK ME LATER"

14.02.10

*Ace

Laundryyyy.

okay.. so i said i wasn't gonna do it & that i was actually gonna leave the sht alone because honestly, its pathetic.

but come on -- you steal my girlfriends blog posts??? - to get attention from someone? what kinda sht is that?? HAHAHA! thats hilarious. one, you're mad that your man aint a MAN, & on top of it, you believe that you're God's gift to man, when you're just some FAKE btch that stays in the house all day, baking cakes, playing with stuffed animals, playing dress up glamour girl ---- get a fckin life.

i really am not the type to get ON THE INTERNET & air people out or anything, but dammit, i can make an exception, lmao - since ya ass wanna read & steal - i said "..how about i give them something TO steal?" lol.

females nowadays kill me, honestly. dude gets a girlfriend (who is just the BEAUTIFULIEST thing, lmfaooo!) & then here come these scaaaandalous ass btches. smh. then you don't believe no one is gonna putchu in line.

then check it - you stole my shorty's blog post, WORD FOR WORD, the picture & all & tried to make it seem like it was something that YOU had on your mind, that YOU thought up; on top of ya MARK ass getting found out, you proceed to, i guess, change the URL of your blog so you can't get found out again, LMAO!! what kinda fake sht is that?? i'm tired of people - ESPECIALLY YOU SHITTY ASS FEMALES - getting found out to be fraud & then try to run or cover it up. all that make up you wear? - it only hides the REAL you for a short period of time. *subliminal*

now.. you talk sht about how your man don't do this, how ya man don't do that - use to just skate all over the place, disappointed with his LAAAAME ass.. --- but you're one of the people described IN the blog post you stole, dumb btch --- dude goes & spends money on you & then all the wrong that he's ever done is all of a sudden "ACCEPTABLE" --- FRAAAAUDDD!

you're worse than a nigga saying that he's gonna do something when he's NOTTT.. because you can continue & cry to ya man - he can't act up.. it will be the LAST time he acts up. i PROMISE you that. i put that on EVERYthing i love.. you fcks do NOT know me. AT all. wise up, prick.

i disclose no names because there is no reason to at this point or EVER because thats what the fck you are -- a nobody.. just another fake shorty with a camera & a silver spoon in her mouth, IN THE HOUSE PLAYING DRESS-UP. grow some tits & get a life - & leave MINE the fck alone.

end of sermon.

*Ace

Artful Noise.

..for those who think i'm just always blogging or talking about nothing, or think that i'm like you Twitter gangstas - think again.. i grind 24/7.. no one else is gonna do it for me.

Check me out:

www.myspace.com/veryfreshdezignz

*Ace

SLR.

i love photography & i love editing pictures. the camera that i use is a good camera so i'm not complaining but as a graphic designer / former photographer, i need to get another camera.

Nikon's D-series is dammit phenomenal - just the prices are what i look at. at the same time, they're better than some that i've seen. the D3000 & D5000 are the only 2 that i'd cop from Nikon.

Canon -- its gotta be a Rebel, hahahaaha. i'm sorry. its gotta be. my favorite right now is the EOS Rebel XSI joint. magnificant. my homeboy Mike works for Canon so he's looking for me to show up with a Canon & not a Nikon, lol. we'll see though, lol.

all in all, both brands are top of the line, so i shouldn't go wrong with buying from either.

*Ace

Choices.

lately, its been a battle with my mind & with the things that i sense/see/hear.. some people call me crazy or weird because i may see things happen before their time or i know what you're about to say before you say it & i may not even know you.

alotta things haven't been going the way i need them to go, stuff that i don't broadcast to ANYONE. i can tell that its taking a toll on me physically because i've been getting sick & more headaches, more than usual, i should say.. which isn't good in my world.. i'm poppin' more pills than i should be for pain that i thought was gone for good & been in need of some real time away from everything that i deal with.

i got spoken to a couple weeks ago on some things & the verdict was that i was gonna have to make a lot of choices.. choices that i didn't like & really didn't think i was gonna have to think about. i hate choices that are evident with outcomes that you know are inevitable. i hate having to make choices where its determined by the next thing you or another person may do. those are the worse..

so lately i feel like i've been kinda going in the wrong direction, so to speak, with my girlfriend.. its hard to admit to yourself when you've been wrong on a few things that may seem so small to the naked eye - but internally, when you care about a person, & in this case, love a person hard enough, it breaks you down like acid on metal.. it can literally destroy you inside because you care for them THAT much.. you need them THAT much.. you love them THAT much --- that you're killing yourself internally, trying to reason & ration out emotions/thoughts so everything is balanced out to where you can just keep a straight face.

i'm still learning how to come right out & say what i'm thinking because most of the time, all my life, no one listens. why speak continuously if no one is gonna listen, let alone understand? i think sometimes, how the fck can i understand everyone else & their sht but can't understand & solve my own? its always been like that.. & i sit & think about her all the time.. everything i do, its got her in mind. everything. get off my blog if you've gotten to this point in reading & you don't like that i'm blogging about my girl. much appreciated. have a nice life.

but its real.. in alotta senses, for what i explain to her in how i feel about her, its only a FRACTION of what i really have going on in my head when she's on my mind.. & i feel ridiculous for being an ass for the past couple weeks, getting irritated or mad about sht that i was raised to handle with no regard for - meaning, i've been taught to let little things go, not hold them & let them manifest into something dumb or not worth the time of even getting upset over.. but it goes back to what i was saying -- when you have so many damn thoughts, emotions, feelings, --- running around in your head, its kinda hard to really let small things go. its like, it takes too long to come around in a cycle. by the time it gets to the main point of judgment, its too late. its grown.. grown into something bigger than it already was.. & for that, i'm sorry.. with all i've got, i'm sorry.. you may not know or understand how important it is for me to say what i'm saying but in time you will.

so - i was faced with choices & one of the choices involved her.. & it damn near made me break.. because it wasn't something that i wanted or felt that i NEEDED to do.. i'm saying to myself "heeeeell no.. nope." -- kept getting woke up outta my sleep, headaches kept coming & then it hit me.. it came to me.. if i let this sht beat me the fck up (along with EEEVERYthing else), imma LOSE everything.. Ace can't afford that.

i sent her a letter a couple weeks ago, trying to do something new outside of the norm or whatever & she sent me one back.. while reading it, i seen certain colors illuminate & spell out a wordphrase that corresponded to what i was seeing & all i could do was (**closed information**).. & i sat & thought about everything that has been going on & i said "..if imma do all of this, i need her with me to do it." i said 5 years from July 10, 2009 that i was going to be in the position to do a few things where the official start of our lives would be great.. i meant that, Bri. i see nothing but walls around me right now, but i believe i can move these joints.. you give me that strength that i knew i had but never knew how to use it.. i aint tryna fail you OR myself.. according to everyone else - Ace has already failed.

so i apologize for the mystery vibes in texts or having you wonder whether or not i'm okay or if i have a problem with you or with us or even the thoughts that you have of me breaking your heart, because i'm not because i can't afford that.. so i'm standing here letting YOU know & about 100 others know that i love you.. i love you beyond love itself, if there's a such thing, as YOU would say - the answer is yes, there is - you.

forever, baby..

*Ace

The Artistic Revolution.

as well as being a producer, i've always loved art & design. i went to college for graphic design but never finished due to life coming to play a little early. i wanna go back soon though & get my bachelors degree. i've always had a thing with photography & coming outta high school, thats what i was - a photographer (as well as a producer). i stopped & never really knew the reason why.

i always look at things a different way or create from a different vision than everyone else & grandma used to always tell me that if i were actually put some of my mind to the test & bring what i see & hear to life, "that i'd become more than just a creator, i'll become a renowned name & everyone will wanna have me on their team."



to a degree, i believed her. i miss my grandma alot. she was the only real person that actually believed in me & had faith that i could be more than what i was putting out. she encouraged me unconditionally. she never really gave me the negative side of anything because she use to also always say that if you always look at what wrong could happen, then you'll never really know if you could actually succeed or not. she use to say there was a difference between giving pros & cons & just being plain, down-right negative.. & she was right.



i've always loved magazines -- & to one day have my own or be apart of one.. so i brought my creation to life, for it to be full grown, full blossom by January 2010:

FRAICHES MAGAZINE: The Artistic Revolution

created by life, love & eternal passion for all things creative; devine by design; maintained with an honest & innovative heart.

*Ace

You Ain't Even Gotta Try.

i recently got introduced to a nice ass pianist - Robert Glasper. he's on GAS'D x AFTA-1's "LOVE IS REAL Vol. 4" with Bilal & the dude is amazing. the way his chords come together & make you feel something is something that i've always loved with ANY musician. if you can put together a melody or compose a melody, you're dope in my book.

can't get down with too much fabrication. haha.

he's played for Mos Def, Common, Talib Kweli, Mary J. Blige, Erykah Badu, Slum Village, J. Dilla & Jay-Z. i downloaded his latest project "Double Booked" & its down right inspirational. he has a few other joints under his belt such as his major label debut joint entitled "Canvas" & his sophomore release "Element".

he's what i call "the hope for the future of real music."

Check him out: http://www.robertglasper.com/

*Ace

Property of October.

DRAKE

"THANK ME LATER"

February 2010

Currently Recording in London

*lucky bastard*

**will be ghostwriting for Rihanna, Jeezy & Jay-Z on his album; just a heads-up**

*Ace

I Need The Freeeetime.

lately, i've been listening to alotta N.E.R.D. & one of the original members & creators of that group --- KENNA. i've been bumpin' "New Sacred Cow" which was his first album (that no one knows about). in my opinion its better than his second album "Make Sure They See My Face".. the first album has alot more bounce to it. the second album will have you ready to throw yourself off of a damn bridge. hahaha.

"New Sacred Cow" is just something in rotation right now that is right on the money of how i've been feeling & whatnot. i gotta have a release somewhere, ya know? like i said, imma retire from being a producer but NEVER from being someone who loves GOOD & REAL music.

Kenna's newest album is almost done which is titled "Land 2 Air Chronicles", with RJD2 as the executive producer -- JEEESUS. joint is gonna be off the damn chains (if you know anything about RJD2). RJD2 is one of the producers that later inspired me to go above & beyond in artistry with my music. he's one of those producers that kinda run Europe, along with Onra & a few others, like fellavaughn & PursuitGrooves. he's got an ass of mixes & albums. of course The Neptunes are gonna be on this joint, so its gonna be a nice reunion with the whole crew. minus Shae.. dafck did he come from?? smh. haha.

*Ace

Finger Lickin'.

aaaaaight - so i been like a crackhead for some chicken & i had said i wanted some Popeyes, haha. i use to not be able to eat things from Popeyes because i've got acid reflux & they be on that cajun stuff & i ain't tryna be in the hospital behind something thats mild, hahaha.

but i got older & now any chance i get, i get some Popeyes. you aren't black if you don't like Popeyes or hell, chicken period, haha.

*Ace

U N I F.

some of the tees i seen for this line are pretty hot, to me anyway. i'm getting more into lines that alotta people aren't familiar with.. stuff that probably wouldn't get a second glance.

UNIF - Ur Not In Fashion

collection of Men’s and Women’s cut and sew knits,wovens, denim, accessories, and more sht. they came about in '04 in LA, created by Eric Espinoza.

CLEAN FUSION // STREET FASHION // COMTEMPORARY FLYNESS

*Ace

The Morning After.

..sometimes the best thing for a girl to wear is a guy's tee.

CONTRAST x TheMorningAfter

www.contrastmagazine.com

*Ace

W E A R E O N E .

if you don't know by now, AFTA-1 is someone who i've come to enjoy greatly, along with the team GAS'D. music &art don't get any better than this.

they dropped "Love is Real Vol. 3: Selections of Audible Love" back in August but they just dropped "Love is Real Vol. 4: VESSELS BEHIND A MOMENT" & its amazing. of course, AFTA-1 does his thing with remixes & his renditions of what music is SUPPOSE to sound like.

anyway, go download it here:

www.gas-d.com/loveisreal

enjoy.

*Ace

Saturn Never Sleeps.

every now & again we all have those times where we really cannot explain how we feel or why we feel the way that we may be feeling at a certain time or FOR a certain amount of time. sometimes we don't think many people can relate.. at least thats how i feel because thats how its been like that all my life.

what i understand now more than ever is that what i see now so clearly is what i was seeing some time ago but wasn't equipped with the tools or knowledge to understand at the time that it was seen & sensed.. alotta times my mind is one of those things that work on too many remote channels --- at one time.. so basically, it can be all over the place. for those who know me, the last 3 years of my life have been nothing but issue after issue, problem after problem, hardship after hardship -- & it can take a toll on you if you're not strong enough. i get the statement "..i dunno how you've done it yo.. thru all of what YOU'VE been thru."

i guess the will power that i have to not be defeated.. i dunno. i honestly believe i knew what faith was before i knew the background & groundwork about faith in general.. i never sleep. hell, as i'm writing this, note that i haven't had the adequate amount of sleep that a normal human needs to function properly. haha.

i live my life one drum pattern at a time with a nicely chopped sample.. 8 bars. i've learned that if you take on more than what you know you can maintain, you're gonna lose.. & you'll get warnings that it may not be a good idea.. its up to you to make the choice to regroup or suffer down the road.

right now, i really wish i could get someone to flip the switch so i could get a break from all of what i deal with but i know thats not going to happen so i just pray that it all works out for the better because it WILL get better.. well - in alotta things, my life has gotten easier since December 31, 2008. alotta things became alot more evident, clear & of course, easier. i realize & recognize more than ever that everything isn't a cakewalk, but love is a powerful force. every step, word & feeling holds a value.

so being that i've been getting my ass kicked mentally, it just means i'm getting more tools to be stronger mentally & spiritually from Him, to be stronger for 'her' & to push into more directions of progression for myself.. so imma wipe the mud of my face from falling face first so many times in the last couple months, dust my Superman suit, kiss my future wife & try this sht again.. i've been doing this long & i'm still standing - why stop..

this is our universe.

"The Beach House Interlude"


*Ace